The Top Fifty Reasons to Attend the Charity Auction Tonight

The Goodman Games crew has been hard at work raiding their attic lairs and spelunking their subterranean vaults to come up with the coolest, most utterly unique, most staggeringly one-of-a-kind items for our Empire of the Cylops Con Auction! Our artists, designers, authors, staff, and contributors of all kinds have dug deep into their personal collections and found an amazing array of curiosities and special items you just won’t see anywhere else.

Our auctions will be live-streamed on the Goodman Games Twitch channel tonight—Friday, November 5th running from 9:00-11:00 p.m. EST. A portion of the proceeds of all auction funds will go to benefit our con’s charity partner, the Franklin Food Bank.

We’ve got rare out-of-print adventures, original artwork by some of Goodman Games best, never-before-seen manuscripts, hard-to-find collectibles, and even a piece of clothing or two. (…is that a pair of autographed boxing gloves?)

So be sure to tune in to the Official Goodman Games Twitch Channel to join host Jim Kitchen as he auctions off some amazing items for charity! It’s all happening during Empire of the Cyclops Con!

Do you need another reason to be a part of the auction? Well…how about FIFTY of them!

The top fifty reasons to be a part of the Empire of the Cyclops Con Charity Auction

1.) The Dark Master Commands it!

2.) Crom doesn’t care, but if you don’t bid to win he will laugh at your puny efforts.

3.) There’s only so many times you can watch the new Dune before your family stages an intervention.


5.) There will be cookies!

6.) Madcap “70-minute stretch” might accidentally summon a demon!

7.) One word, kid: plastics!

8.) It’s the only thing that can carry you from the blasted hellscape of Pumpkin Spice into the seething fires of Peppermint Eggnog.

9.) The cool kids are doing it and you want to be a part of it.

10.) If we hit twice as much as last time Jim swears he will write the lyrics to “88 lines about 44 funnel characters.”

11.) Watch as Jim Skatch cavorts across your screen shirtless asking, “Are you not entertained?”

12.) Have you seen how bad Friday night television is? How can you even think of not taking part?

13.) Your wardrobe needs a serious upgrade and we have just the thing.

14.) I would eat a bug to raise money for charity.

15.) The stars aligned and you made your luck roll.

16.) If you don’t watch you might see what the cats are planning and they wouldn’t want that.

17.) You paid off that credit card for a reason and the reason is this charity auction!

18.) On your deathbed you will look back across your life and crushing other bidders is the closest you will come to immortality.

19.) If you sync up “Dark Side of the Moon” to the auction live stream at just the right time it will all make sense.

20.) The totality of your life experiences has brought you to this crossroads and you dare hesitate?

21.) Sit down, strap in, and bid darn it!

22.) If you make Brandon unleash the flying monkeys you won’t like what happens. Two words: Furious George.

23.) All of that plasma you sold is about to pay off big time!

24.) That van with the “Fr33 Candy Inside!” sign on the side will be there Saturday. We promise.

25.) Taco Jon’s milkshake brings the bidders to the yard and they’re like, “It’s better than yours.”

26.) Nothing ventured, nothing gained. If you don’t bid then the regret will cling to you like your ex.

27.) In the privacy of your home you can bid and imbibe whatever beverage you want and no one will ever know.

28.) Shanna is sick and tired of your excuses so get off your duff and bid!

29.) If this goes well then the special DCC digest, “Tales from the Auction House!” will have to go to Kickstarter.

30.) Special glasses will enable you to see things no one else will.

31.) Now with a 100% less blind auctioneer!

32.) Dieter may indeed let you touch his monkey.

33.) Chips! Dips! Chains! Whips!

34.) Thrill to the death-defying story of how Stefan Poag’s secret nickname came to be! (“The Naughty Wombat”)

35.) That Purple Planet box set you kept putting off? Your long-awaited second chance has arrived.

36.) Do you want to live forever? Well, do you?

37.) Possibly debuting “Ratspike, the musical!” if we can get the Union to sign off on it.

38.) No literally children of Fritz Leiber will be harmed.

39.) With the show crossing the border we have the Ottawa mandated Canadian content that will keep those darn Mounties off our backs.

40.) Kid Rock stopping by to auction off a copy of Castle Whiterock if we can get enough PBR in cans.

41.) Miniatures! What more could you want?

42.) This time the auction coincides with the annual “Airing of Road Crew Grievances” to be followed by the “Feats of Lesser Strength.”

43.) The Ghost of Sean Connery, resplendent in his Zardoz costume.

44.) Sneak preview of “Xcrawl: Logan’s Run!”

45.) Once you win one auction it’s like a can of Pringles: You cannot stop with one!

46.) Win five items, The Spawn of Skach promise to let you die last in the next tournament.

47.) If you don’t give your mother something from Harley Stroh as a holiday gift her guilt will consume you.

48.) That DVD of “Donny & Marie’s Greatest Hits” you’ve been watching is a cry for help and we all know it. Just turn it off.

49.) We’ve worked really hard to come up with some truly unique treasures to make it worth your time to bid.

50.) We have a great charity and your bids make a difference. It’s been a tough year and we could all use some laughs and do some good in the world!

Note: not all of these things are definitely real and going to happen, but…they might! And yes, we used a period AND a closed parenthesis on the numbers. We’re just that hardcore…

See you tonight on Twitch!

Author: jmcdevitt

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