I think those things (and others) are exactly what MDoAs are used for doing.
And btw, not all of us are in our right mind, and might gladly grapple a troll.
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Gnome Boy • DCC playtester @ DDC 35 Feb '11. • Beta DL 2111, 7AM PT, 8 June 11. Playing RPGs since '77 • Quasi-occasional member of the Legion of 8th-Level Fighters.